The Lipstick On Your Coffee Cup
by Man Fredd
Summary: Danny pulls away from the one that loves him the most - Lindsay. Set from the episode 'Right Next Door'. M&M/Danny&Lindsay. WIP!
1. That Shirt I Bought You

**I've started writing for CSI:NY :) It's set from the episode 'Right Next Door'. M&M/Danny & Lindsay... Please R+R. It's work in progress. This goes out to Laura and Katy!!!**

**I own nothing!! Thank you to Laura for being my beta, she is a wonderful friend, who is an english expert (but not as a job... yet :P) and a grammar freak.  
**

* * *

**The Lipstick on Your Coffee Cup**

Danny sighed as he watched Rikki Sandoval leave his apartment - in his shirt. His salmon-pink shirt was a remnant of their activities the previous night. After Ruben's death, Danny had pulled away from his friend's, only allowing Rikki to come closer, yet now he realised that it was too close. Ruben had died and Danny told himself his instincts as a CSI caused it. He had told Ruben to go home, watching him take the shortcut home. He had run into the bodega, making sure the victim was okay. Little did he know that Lucy Scott had shot Ruben by accident. Little did he know that whilst Ruben was peddling away, he had a bullet inside of him, he didn't know he had died in the alleyway.

He pictured in his mind the very moment he found out about Ruben's death. The morgue. A young child had been rolled in, Danny becoming lost for words as Hawkes dragged him out of the mourge. "Ruben," he whispered to himself. "Ruben," he repeated. Suddenly there was a knock on his door, and a female voice protuuding the silence. It was Lindsay - who was she to him now. He didn't know whether to call her his girlfriend, his ex or his colleague. "I'm comin'!" He shouted as he made his way over to the door, clad in his tight-fitting boxers.

As he opened the door, he greeted her with a quiet "Hey." His voice was hoarse, showing just how much grief he was putting himself through. Closing the door, he followed her as she took a seat on the sofa. "What's up?" He asked, sitting opposite her in the armchair, rubbing his bleary eyes.

"Danny..." Lindsay began, first glancing to the floor, then to him. They had rarely spoken about their relationship, the only conversations they had were about the cases they were working. "I don't know. I don't know what to say." She continued, lost for words as she looked into his eyes. "I fell for you. Where are you now?" She said as he got out of his seat, walking over to the kitchen. "Two sugars." She said as he took two mugs out of the cupboard.

"I'm here Linds', what are you talking about?" He replied, leaning on the counter. "When did I go? Where did I go?" He asked, pouring steaming hot water into the mugs, stirring the coffee with a teaspoon, adding just enough milk. Lindsay raised an eyebrow as she focused on his face, on his eyes. He was tired, exhausted - lonely. He had turned from the quirky, loveable boyfriend from Staten Island, into a degenerated loner who seeked solace in the arms of Lindsay's new enemy - Rikki. She didn't have to ask him about it. She knew as soon as she saw Rikki enter her apartment alone, wearing the very same shirt Lindsay had given to Danny as a gift.

"Why, Danny. Why?" She asked, accepting the coffee as he sighed, resuming his seat. She stared down into the miniature abyss, hoping to drown her sorrows there. She noticed that he didn't, he couldn't make eye contact any more - it was unbearable to see the sadness in her eyes. They both knew she had lost him, but he couldn't admit it. He couldn't admit it was real; He couldn't admit that he had changed, that he was a 'broken man'. That he pushed away the ones he loved the most.

"Why what? The only why I think about is 'Why didn't I make sure he got home safe?", Linds. You know that." He replied, still looking down at the floor, avoiding visual contact with her. He was reluctant to face the music - to get back to reality. To him, the distance between the two sofas wasn't big enough. He wanted Rikki. The one piece he had left of the little boy who would knock on his door at seven in the morning, the little boy who would be on a high at five in the morning, the little boy the he unknowingly watched get shot.

"You think I don't know?" Lindsay retorted. She was doing her best to keep her cool. It had happened two weeks ago, and Danny was still at a loss, blaming himself over and over again. Sometime or other, she had to make him see it wasn't her fault - it was just how cruel life can be at times. "Danny, five minutes ago I was in that hallway. You remember that shirt I bought you?? The pink one?" She asked, getting up and moving herself closer to him. "I just watched her walk from your door to hers, wearing it!" Her voice was becoming louder, releasing the hurt and the anger she had kept bottled up. "I get it. You feel guilty for Ruben dying. I know what that's like. You think I don't regret going into that bathroom when my friends were killed?" She continued, going back over to the sofa to sit on the arm.

"You... You saw... Her?" Danny stuttered finally moving his eyes from the floor, to Lindsay. He saw the hurt, the pain he had caused her. He saw into her eyes. He made the void empty again - the void he had filled long ago. He knew of his doing, Lindsay knew of his doing. Yet he still wouldn't admit it even as she confronted him about it. "Im... Sorry, Linds." It took him all the strength he had just to say the phrase _I'm sorry_. "I know. But I-I." He continued, pausing to think carefully. "You know I love you. You know I love... I love waking up in the morning, knowing I get to see you. I love your country girl moves and your county girl attitude. I love wiping your lipstick off of my coffee cups when you leave for work. But I... Just can't." He sighed wearily, things had began to fall apart in his life, since Ruben's death.

"Oh yeah?" Lindsay replied, standing up. "Well I don't want to be the girl that puts lipstick on the coffee cups of a guy who can' face up to reality, a guy who can't commit." She told him, before breaking their visual contact, walking over to the front door. "I'll see you at work."

* * *

**I live for reviews! Please, lemme know what you think!!**


	2. The Eyes

**Thank you for your reviews, and for adding this to your alerts, I'm so happy. I got more alerts than reviews, can you please let me know what you think? Also, I have been nominated by my wonderful friends for the CSI:NY fanfiction awards! Please vote for me when I put the link in my profile page!!  
**

* * *

Lindsay sighed as she almost threw the phone back in its holder, still furious with Danny. Not only for his cheating; for the way he was treating her. He isolated himself, surrounded himself with invisible impenetrable walls keeping everyone but Rikki Sandoval away from him. Only now had he realised just how much of an idiot he had been, he had lost the one person in his life who he couldn't live without. His 'soulmate', the one who made him whole; the one he made whole. He had done the one thing he vowed never to do – hurt Lindsay. He had ripped himself and her apart; to pieces; to shreds.

Now, he was more than in the doghouse, but she couldn't let it affect her work. Stella had lost her apartment and two children were missing - two children who had been kidnapped by Bonnie O'Dell - and they had to find them. "School hasn't seen them in three days." She informed Danny, keeping her eyes to the sketch in front of her, to avoid him seeing the hurt in her eyes.

The two exchanged short, weary words, both hesitant to talk. Getting up, Lindsay sighed again. She was tired - tired of being constantly pushed away, tired of hitting the walls he had built around him; around his mind; around his heart.

"Do me a favor, Danny." She began, pausing to swallow all the hurt and swallow her pride. " Don't reduce me to some shallow clingy girlfriend that's trying to suffocate you, okay? That's not what this is about." She continued, making sure he had her attention. "Ever since Ruben Sandoval died, I feel like I have lost my best friend. Don't mistake this for jealousy, okay? I know how it feels to lose someone you care about, to see them one day and to not see them the next, and you know you are never gonna see them again." She paused again, opening up a previously inflicted wound to show just how much damage he was creating. " I will never expect you not to grieve, but clearly you have just decided to do it on your own." Her voice was beginning to give way, but she persevered.

Standing up, she spoke before walking away, Danny focusing his vision on the floor. "Okay I get it, my mistake for thinking you might need someone to lean on, and for the record I'm not mad at you... I'm mad at myself, because I've fallen in love with you and have to figure out how to let that go."

**_CSI:NY_**_:_

Fixing herself a cup of coffee, Rikki paused as she heard someone knocking at her door. Answering it, she found herself unable to breathe as she saw who it was; Danny. The two stood there, staring into each other's eyes. The eyes. The eyes that had made him run to Rikki; the eyes that bored into his soul; the eyes that made him feel guilty. "Danny." She whispered, her voice hoarse and barely audible, yet still it penetrated the uncomfortable silence that kept them still like statues.

"Can I.." He began, pausing to gather the pride he had left. "Can I come in?" He asked, gesturing with his head, nodding towards her. Again the two stayed silent for several moments; dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. Their eyes moved up and down upon each other, as if to check for any hidden items.

Biting her lip, Rikki sighed as she opened the door further, granting him access to her apartment. "Sure." She sighed, returning to the kitchen for her coffee. "What do you want, Danny?" She asked, staring at a photo of her beloved son, Ruben. Her world revolved around that little boy - maybe even Danny's world did too. She was at a loss as to how to continue in life. How would she go to bed without reading a bedtime story? How would she wake up in the morning, without waking up the only family she had?

Sitting on the sofa, hands clasped together, Danny kept his eyes to the floor once again, something that was becoming a habit for him."I don't know, Rikki. I don't know." He replied, his voice plain and empty, showing just how much damage he had inflicted not only on Lindsay and Rikki - but himself. "I lost... Everything. I lost Ruben. I lost Lindsay. I lost me, Rikki." He explained, still blaming himself for that day he had taken Ruben to the blessing of the bikes. "I don't know what to do."

Rikki sipped on the hot beverage, glancing from the photo to Danny. She missed Ruben. She missed his short, cute brown hair. She missed his smile; she missed everything about him - but she didn't blame Danny. She had put things in perspective, yet Danny hadn't. He had taken it upon himself to break the news to her, undoubtedly because he was there, and told her it was his fault. It wasn't. It wasn't. It was Lucy Scott's fault. It was the robber's faut. "Neither do I." She told him, her voice low but easily heard. "We... We were a mistake. I took you for granted. Took advantage of the guilt you felt; the guilt you feel." Moving over to him, she sat next to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, causing Danny to finally have to courage to look at her.

"No. No, you didn't. It was my fault. I should have made sure he got home. You, you lost more than me Rikki." He continued to deny the fact that it wasn't his doing, still feeling as if it was him who had pulled that trigger, still feeling that watching Ruben ride away was Danny sentencing the young boy to death.

Just as Rikki was about to reply, Danny's pager screamed, crying for attention. Pagers had always been annoyin to him, yet now, with the tension between the two, he had never been more thankful for such a simple beep and a message that whisked him somewhere else. "I gotta go. I got a scene." He explained, excusing himself as he left the apartment, leaving her dumbfounded, staring at the door as if to give it the power to grab Danny by rhe collar of his shirt and drag him back.

**_CSI:NY:_**

"Hey Dan." Stella greeted her colleague as she sighted him crossing the police tape, before returning to photographing the body that lay in front of her. "Female DB, I.D. was in her handbag. Laura Say, age fifteen." She explained, sighing as she showed him the bus pass in the small evidence bag. "She shouldn't even be in this part of town. She's from the West Village." Young girls were a soft spot for everyone in the lab, it always affected them.

As Stella knelt beside the body to point out the seemingly obvious stab wound, Danny rubbed his eyes as he thought abourt how he had just left Rikki.

"Danny." Stella began, sighing again as she got up. "I, er, I spoke to Lindsay." She told him, glancing from the body on the ground to Danny, who was taken aback by what she had just said to him. He knew word woulf get out, but that fast? Especially to one of his superiors.

Opening up his kit, e brushed the topic off, which was most likley to return later at the lab. "Can we do this later? We got a case. Who found her?" He asked, hoping that would be all for now. The case was all he wanted to focus on, he didn't knoe what to do; he didn't want to face up to the reality that they were forcing him to see.

"Sure. You see him over there?" Stella replied, flickering an eyebrow as she nodded to an over-eager man who was watching from behind the tape. "Found her about thirty minutes ago, we're waiting for the M.E. to arrive."

* * *

**MUHAHAHAHA *Evil laugh* The eyes part scared my beta.. With these exact words, I Quote: 'i was imiagingin the eyes looking at me!'.. Yup..... The Grammar Freak misspelt!! Also, she was like.... 'I DIED?' She said that too :P (I used her name).**

**Please review, or I shall be following in my friend's footsteps. The kitten will die.**


End file.
